the shadows of darkness.. they swallow me.. the light.. my hope.. takes me away.. into his hand..

i didnt talk to her at all yesterday.. (Roxana) got to exchange a few words with her.. doesnt she know tt we are all worried abt her? nt only abt the friendship.. i hav been thinking so much about this.. my heart shatters.. does she even care abt others around her? maybe only Karen? Karen.. please help her be happy.. with u as a friend.. she might hate us.. i dont know.. she opens to u..

Sin - violation of the laws of God.

me - sinner.

i've sinned so much against God.. again... i hate myself.. i cant do anything to make her happy.. all i do is make her worse.. seperation.. i hope it's nt for eternity..

im going through sound therapy.. well.. its my sound therapy.. i need at least 100hours of listening to high pitched Baroque pieces at about 60 beats per minute..

i feel like i wont be able to contain myself anymore.. im scared.. of suddenly going into a fit of anger and hurting her more.. i dont want anything to happen in school.. everyone will start treating me like a freak.. wad i really am.. i want to be accepted by others.. will they accept me?

i think im gonna take a part-time job soon.. i maybe dropping 1 of my CCAs all which i have a strong bond with.. i cant take it.. sec 4s leaving... sec5s too.. dearest memories with them..

im gonna burst soon.. i want to go to his resting place.. cant he just take me? take me now Lord Jesus.. take me..